you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize