yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
