Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
