I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
