before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
