I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
