U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
