last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
