I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
