And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
