the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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