im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
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Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize