He asked me if I "almost moaned"
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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