you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
