oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I am naked and annoyed.
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