:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
