every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
