y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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