I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
