Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Still dying that you shit outside
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
