remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
