why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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