if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize