People in love make me want to vomit
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
