At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
