dude i'm inner monologue high
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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