Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm just crazy horny about you
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
