I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
