dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
