Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize