wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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