I'm gonna have a badass scar
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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