So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
