I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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