I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
