I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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