Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
