Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Randomize
