HIV tests are more positive than that guy
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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