i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
