She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize