You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
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