I cockslap morals
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize