so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
