I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Green mimosas i think yes
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize