I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
