dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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