Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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