Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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