I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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