I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
