I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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