He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
