I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
