a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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