no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
