When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
