Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
