how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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