from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize