i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
