But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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