I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
