Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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