Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I need water and some morals
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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