they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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