I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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