You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
